Yeah. I bought into the whole Livestrong thing way back when. I rooted for the guy. When I was a health blogger, I even applied to become part of the Livestrong division on a website I will not name. And even though I knew more about omega-3 fatty acids and visceral massage than any civilian has a right to, I was turned down for lacking, I don’t know, something they called the “high Livestrong standards.” Yeah. Irony. But now I have all these Livestrong bracelets. Even though they’re made in China, I hate waste and I’m a recycling girl from way back, so if you’re in my situation as well, here are a few things you can do with them.

1. Melt down and make new solidarity bracelet for Manti T’eo.
2. Wear inside out until Tibet is free.
3. Change to LOVESTRONG and give to marriage equality causes.
4. Keep several pairs of socks together in the dryer.
5. Physical therapy tool for relieving texting-induced tendonitis in thumbs.
6. Pea shooter (Thank you, Carmy!)
7. Fit over beverage container of choice to prevent slippage.
8. Change to LIVESTRANGE and distribute in Woodstock and Portland. (Kidding. I love you guys.)
9. Extra-strength exercise band to build up toe muscles.
10. Secure hems of yoga pants so they don’t catch in the StairMaster.
11. Bind together several dozen colored pencils or markers to make one big rainbow.
12. Bring to the farmer’s market to keep the broccoli stalks from falling apart.
13. Beauty pageant sashes for Barbie dolls.
14. Change to LIVE LONG AND PROSPER and give away at ComicCon.
15. Hairbands for Troy Polamalu.
16. Mail them back to Lance Armstrong for a refund. And an apology.