Best And Worst Jobs of 2010

As if you didn’t already know where your job stacks up against, say, that dream you always had of ditching the suit and tie and becoming a lumberjack, a ranking of the 200 best and worst jobs of 2010 was just compiled and released by CareerCast.com.

The rankings reflect the stress, employment outlook, working conditions, and salaries of each position, among other things. Actuaries fared the best, followed closely by software engineers and computer systems analysts. So, apparently, it’s relatively safe and lucrative to sit all day staring at computer screens, although my physical therapist and ophthalmologist would probably disagree. Physically demanding jobs often performed under less-than-optimal conditions came out worst, like welders, dairy farmers, ironworkers, and, sorry to say, lumberjacks. But ranking #200 were roustabouts (typically someone who does all the stuff no one else wants to do, like hang off of oil rigs or put up circus tents.)

Actors came in at #164, although if CareerCast.com spent more time in Hollywood, they might want to add these jobs in their best and worst categories:

BEST:

1. Anyone on Charlie Sheen’s payroll is having a good year, although some jobs are less savory than others. I imagine it’s easier to be his dealer than his public relations agent. Or his housekeeper.

2. “Butcher” might not have rated very highly with CareerCast.com (#190), but one particular butcher did well…Lady Gaga’s designer, Franc Fernandez, bought twenty-five pounds of flank steak from his own butcher to make this juicy little number. And, like any good red-carpet design, the knockoffs are already flying off the menu.

3. Lindsay Lohan’s sober coach. According to Lindsay’s dad, Michael, strongly in the running to keep his daughter away from the influence of “those Hollywood types” is Iris Martin, who was once Bill Clinton’s therapist. Because that worked out so well…

WORST:

1. Hands down, 2010 was one horrific year for TV star Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan. After performing ten procedures on the celebutante in one month (November 2009), Montag publicly expressed her deep regret and her scars. In her interview with Life & Style on December 2, she said, “People have fewer scars from car accidents than I have on my body.” In one of those horrible Hollywood twists of fate, Dr. Ryan died in a car accident while texting back in Auguts. He was sending a Twitter message about his dog.

2. Having anything to do with Mel Gibson rates lowest on the list. Seriously, not even Jodie Foster will talk to him anymore.

3. It’s apparently also a bad year to be Kanye West’s media trainer.

I hope 2010 was a great year for you. Have a safe, healthy, paparazzi-free and prosperous 2011!

Best Political Gaffes of 2010

Vice-President Joe Biden turned his untimely f-bomb into a fundraising opportunity.

I am fortunate to be in a profession in which errors don’t normally result in the loss of human life. Typos and grammatical mistakes may cause a little embarrassment, and could, if printed, cost the client some money and a smidgen of credibility; at worst, a missed marketing opportunity, but no one is dying on the table. No one bleeds out from a misplaced comma. (A colon, maybe.) No one will perish in a plane crash because my subject and verb do not agree.

These are extreme examples, I realize, but mistakes in other professions can also have lasting repercussions. Ask Mark McGwire. Or BP.

If you’re a politician, however, beware the open mike or the flippant tweet, because the media, and your opposition, have long memories. Whether Sarah Palin meant to write “refudiate” in her now-famous Twitter post or simply chose the wrong word, the results are now engraved in pop culture history: “refudiate” made the top three in several “best words of 2010” lists.

Here are more of my favorite political gaffes of 2010:

1. “I am not a witch.” Copping a famous line from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Christine O’Donnell, in a scripted, intentional, but misguided political ad, tried to assure potential voters in Delaware she no longer “dabbled in witchcraft” and would not turn them into newts. Instead, Delaware turned her into an unemployed marketing consultant.

2. “Our North Korean allies…” Oops. Sarah Palin, probably tired from counting the advance she made on her second book deal, misspoke and made the Huffington Post orgasmic for a while at her seeming lack of current events and geographical knowledge. I think they were too hard on her, since she obviously meant to say, “our Al-Qaeda allies.”

3. “This is a big f***ing deal.” Joe Biden is always good for a laugh. This expletive, about the passage of the healthcare reform bill, came when he leaned into President Obama’s ear near a microphone he didn’t know was open. This slip of the lip has legs, though. And a limited edition, fund-raising t-shirt, courtesy of the same brilliant organization behind Obama’s presidential campaign.

4. Carl Paladino. Take your pick from any of his greatest (baseball bat) hits. Every time he opened his mouth it was anybody’s guess what would come out.

5. “Some of you look a little more Asian to me.” Sharron Angle, responding to a group of Latino students about one in her series of racially offensive ads, tried to prove her color-blindness, and failed miserably. And lost the race to another of our favorite gaffe-makers, Harry Reid.

6. What’s with Barbara Boxer’s hair? Has the Feminist Movement taught us nothing? Carly Fiorina, while waiting to be interviewed during her race against incumbent senator Barbara Boxer, “forgot” her mike was on and said, “Saw Barbara Boxer briefly on television this morning and said what everyone says, God what is that hair?” Dear, oh, dear. Haven’t we learned our lessons from folks who’ve dumped on Hilary’s pantsuits? And why do women do this to each other? You’d think as a CEO Fiorina would be a tad more savvy.

7. “This is Reagan country, and perhaps it was destiny that the man who went to California’s Eureka College would become so woven within and interlinked to the Golden State.” So sayeth Sarah Palin. Except Eureka’s in Illinois, and Reagan didn’t move to California until five years after he graduated. Oops.

8. “The Hottest Member.” During a fundraiser hosted by New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Senator Harry Reid referred to New York’s junior senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, as “our hottest member.” She was sitting only a few feet away at the time. One of Reid’s spokes-bots later clarified, “What can I say, she made The Hill’s ‘Most Beautiful’ list. Of course he also went on to praise her skill and tenacity and described her as an effective member of the New York delegation as well.” Of course.

9. Don’t mess with Red Sox Nation. Remember Martha Coakley? She ran against Scott Brown for Ted Kennedy’s seat? She dissed former Sox pitching phenom Curt Schilling by calling him a Yankees fan and the home crowd by sneering at the horrific idea that she should have human contact with the electorate, “..standing outside Fenway Park? In the cold? Shaking hands?” Nah, we don’t remember her either.

Anyone I’ve forgotten? What were your favorite hot mike and brain freeze moments from the past year?