The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Writer

Some children take quickly to organized sports and thrive at them, dribbling soccer balls and basketballs with equal ease and talent. I was the little fat kid reading in the corner. I was chosen last for all the teams and routinely beaned at recess, with dodge balls, insults, and, occasionally, a fist or two.

So it came as little surprise to me that when I grew out of my baby fat, track would become my athletic endeavor of choice. Endless patience, the genetic gift of my father’s short, muscular legs, and a desire to be alone made me the perfect candidate for the one event nobody else wanted: distance.

Because who remembers the distance runners? Sure, we know the sprinters: the flash and dazzle of FloJo, the spirit of Jesse Owens, and the ego of that Jamaican dude, Usain Bolt, who did his little lightning-strike victory move after each heat during the last Olympic Games. But who remembers Bill Rodgers? Katherine Switzer? Joan Benoit Samuelson? Ringing fewer bells? Yeah, I thought so. See, here’s the thing about the distance runners: they last. They don’t succumb as frequently to career-ending injuries. They know about pacing and training. They know how to entertain and inspire themselves lap after mind-numbing lap, mile after tedious mile, on days when pounding sun softens roads, releasing the nauseating stench of tar, on days so cold their nostrils freeze and the snow squeaks beneath their feet, on rainy days when soggy socks give them blisters.

Want to talk about transferable skills? I became a writer, another move that surprised no one who knew me. I tried on various short formats, but as usual, these did not appeal. I wanted again to go the distance with a novel. Then more novels. As with the 10K race, my favorite distance, I’d finish one book, rest; write another, rest; the whole of my writing life becoming the sum of each “race.”

I hadn’t realized how closely the internals of the writing life resemble long-distance running. You have to get the pacing right so you don’t burn out (or succumb to an embarrassing and frustrating bout of quad-lock I suffered from pushing too hard in a Central Park 10K). You need the patience to edit, round after round, even as the commas are swirling around your head, doing dirty things to each other. You need the fortitude to survive criticism, promotion, marketing, apathy, poverty, disgruntled spouses, computer errors, and the vagaries of Amazon pricing.

One factor, however, didn’t translate so smoothly. The solitude. Yeah, like many of us, and a number of diagnosed sociopaths, I sit alone in a room and stare at a screen for many hours a week. As I mentioned before, the sitting alone and staring part comes naturally for me. But to complete a novel, sell it to the marketplace, and sustain a writing career takes teamwork I hadn’t anticipated. I needed a critique group. Beta readers. An editor or two. Not to mention a cover artist, a partner who gets why I spend so much time with imaginary people and hasn’t yet run away screaming, friends to help spread the word, and the camaraderie of other writers who understand this craziness.

I’d been wrong to think I had to be the lonely long distance writer. To quote Bette Midler, “You got to have friends.” The occasional gulp of Gatorade doesn’t hurt, either.

(A version of this article first appeared on Nicole Storey’s Chaotic Thoughts)

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Win a Signed Copy of The Joke’s on Me!

With Valentine’s Day and spring training just around the corner, and to celebrate the impending release of the novel in e-book form, Goodreads is hosting a giveaway of one signed paperback copy of my romantic comedy, The Joke’s on Me.

The Joke’s on Me is the story of Frankie Goldberg, a former actress and standup comic whose life in Hollywood falls apart with an exclamation mark when a mudslide destroys her home. Hoping for comfort, she returns to her mother’s B&B in Woodstock, New York, where she spent her teen years making coffee, folding towels, and chasing after the handyman’s hot, high-school-jock son. Now she has to deal with the mess she left behind, her bossy older sister, her mother’s illness, and the family responsibilities she’s been shirking. And the handyman’s son, now a minor-league baseball coach, is back in town…

Slide on over to Goodreads and sign up to win for free! Giveaway ends Saturday, February 11.

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Joe Café by JD Mader: a review

A bloody massacre at a beloved diner in a small town sets Joe Café in motion, and, boy, does it move! A little Elmore Leonard, a little Pulp Fiction, JD Mader’s crime thriller sparks and crackles with tension, laying out a grisly tale of hit men, strippers, mob bosses, serial killers, and trout.

Yes, trout.

The story is dark and violent, but even the most sociopathic of Mader’s characters have the capacity for tenderness and loyalty, making us question the nature of evil: are those who do terrible things inherently evil, or have they been misshapen by life’s hard breaks?

Cutting between “good” characters sliding downhill and “bad” characters seeking redemption, Mader crafts the rhythm and contrast that make this fairly short book fly by while leaving a deeper, haunting impression behind. I would absolutely recommend this book, and I can’t wait to read more of Mader’s work.

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Want to be a better writer? Read more!

Happy news! According to the National Endowment for the Arts, daily reading, once on the decline, is rising again. Here are some good reasons you, as a writer, owe it to your career and to the next generation to keep making daily reading a habit.

1. Reading keeps you abreast of the current market. Some writers disagree about this, but reading current books in my genres gives me a broad idea of what’s out there and helps me position my novels in the marketplace.
2. Reading teaches you good writing techniques. Just like playing tennis with a better player helps you improve your game, reading great books urges you to raise the bar on your own writing. My favorite example is Zombie, a novella by Joyce Carol Oates. Somehow she made empathize with a serial killer. I went from being awed by that on the first reading to drilling down to exactly how she did it, and the specific techniques she assigned to the protagonist in character development. Remember, it’s okay to borrow a technique (as long as you use it in your own voice) but NOT to plagiarize!
3. Reading increases your vocabulary. I love books that send me to the dictionary. I once told this to novelist/short story writer T.C. Boyle, when I met him at one of his events. He smiled at me, and then signed my copy of his book in Latin.
4. Reading helps you explore other genres than your own. Some days I get a bee in my bonnet to try historical fiction. Reading them gives me an idea of how it’s done and the challenges I will face.
5. Reading makes the world smaller. Books take us through the looking glass, to faraway lands, and across the universe. In doing so, we learn about other countries, religions, and cultures. We understand each other better. And how can that be anything but good for you as a writer and as a citizen of the world?
6. Reading keeps your imagination sharp. For over ten years, I judged a literary contest for a local school district. I noticed an interesting trend. For a while, the level of imagination exhibited in the children’s stories declined. Then Harry Potter came along, and as if someone waved a magic wand, the stories flourished with creativity. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
7. Reading makes you more attractive. And why not? Reading makes you smarter, and according to some studies, intelligence is an attractive quality when choosing a mate.
8. Reading supports fellow authors. In this tough business of publishing, don’t we want to support each other?

Why do you read? If you had three minutes with a person who doesn’t care for reading, what would you say to try to change his or her mind?

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Get a Load of These Tomatoes!

Just a reminder, my friends, that THE JOKE’S ON ME has been nominated for best romantic novel in the P&E (Preditors and Editors) Readers Poll. This poll recognizes the hard and often overlooked work of authors, editors, illustrators, and publishers, mainly indies. It’s quite an honor to win.

Because the site that conducts the poll for P&E is run mainly by volunteers, and we do want the voting to be fair and properly tallied, the process may look a bit convoluted and the site can run slowly at times. Here are the basic steps to vote for my book:

1. Go to this link: http://www.critters.org/predpoll/novelr.shtml

2. Scroll down to “The Joke’s on Me.” (The books are listed alphabetically.)

3. Click on the circle in front of the title.

4. Fill in your name, e-mail address (I assure you, these are NOT stored or sold), the CAPTCHA code (they want to know you’re a human, not a spambot), any comments you’d care to make about the book, then click “SUBMIT VOTE.”

5. A screen should pop up telling you how to FINALIZE your vote. You should receive an email to the address you’ve given, from “predpoll_noreply@critique.org”.

6. When you get this e-mail, click on the link shown to finalize your vote.

7. If you’d like, consider voting for 4RV’s other nominees in other categories. In particular, my publisher, Vivian Zabel, has been nominated for best author, art director Aidana WillowRaven, who works terribly hard and does great work, has been nominated for best artist, and 4RV is in the running as a whole for publishing print and e-books.

Voting closes at midnight, January 9th. Thank you ever so much for your help! Major celebratory beverages will be poured if I win! (I’m currently running third.)

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Charmed Life: a review

Charmed Life, the second book in the Brass Monkey Series by Susan Wells Bennett, is a charming, highly readable delight. The Brass Monkey, a Sun City, Arizona bar, is the fulcrum for the series, published in paperback and e-book format by Inknbeans Press. Charmed Life swings around to focus mainly on the lives of two characters: Sax, the bar’s owner (an ex-cop from New Jersey), and his friend and patron, Sondra Lane, former soap opera diva and master of turning lemons into lemonade. Sondra, busted down to struggling for good roles in community theater, worries that the best of her days are behind her until what she’d considered an embarrassment from her past leads to a new fan base and a particularly interesting new fan.

As with the first book in the series, Wild Life, there’s also a mystery to be solved, and while doing so, Bennett draws us deep into Sondra’s and Sax’s histories: their triumphs, disappointments, the turning points that landed them where they’d never intended, and going forward, the deepening of their friendship. (Don’t despair, fans of Claire and Milo: they’re also part of the story.)

I read most of the book while traveling, had a wicked hard time putting it down, and even had to be reminded by a flight attendant to turn off my Kindle so the plane could land. What I admired most about Charmed Life, like Wild Life, is the compelling way Susan Wells Bennett draws a character. Each, even her minor players, are human, deeply flawed at times but in the end, endearing. I wanted all of them to find the love and happiness they deserved. Keep writing, Susan…I MUST know how this plays out!

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Child’s Play

Whether it’s the special treats, presents, traditions, videos of cats climbing Christmas trees, or the shiny tinselly delight of it all, the collective winter holiday season can bring out the child in us. Which made me think of a bunch of childlike and childish words for being in a state of newness, where we are wet behind the ears and smell faintly of talcum powder and New Car.

  1. Childlike: An adult who has not lost his or her innocent sense of wonder at the world. Think Dr. Seuss, Mr. Rogers, or Robin Williams off his meds.
  2. Childish: A more negative connotation, drawing up references to “childish behavior” discouraged by parents, such as pouting and selfishness, or how some adults act. Especially on reality television programs or on Black Friday.
  3. Juvenile: From Latin. On the surface, this word refers to “one who is youthful.” It has also taken on the negative connotation of juvenile or immature behavior. Especially on reality television programs or Black Friday.
  4. Neophyte: From the Greek words meaning “newly planted”, first recorded use 1590. Has a bit more sophisticated ring than “newbie.” Does not refer to any of Keanu Reeves’ battle scenes from The Matrix. Sorry. I know how badly you want it to.
  5. Noob or N00b: From the world of online gaming and internet forum slang, short for “newbie” but used in a more derisive fashion. Say, a newbie who refuses to learn the rules of a group, blusters around obnoxiously pretending they know what they’re doing but ends up wiping out your landing party with an enchanted hand grenade.
  6. Green: From Old English, meaning young or raw, also gullible. Greenhorn (a young buck, elk, ram or other horned beast just sprouting his horns) is another variant, a slang term applied to a newly arrived member of a group who hasn’t yet learned the secret handshake. As in, “That greenhorn thought Dr. Seuss made house calls.”
  7. Novice: One Latin form of this word, novicius, was used in reference to newly acquired slaves. Odd that it’s also used to describe someone in a religious order. Coincidence? Discuss.
  8. Apprentice: from Old French, “one who is learning.” Perhaps Donald Trump could apprentice to someone who has some humility, and maybe hair styling experience.
  9. Amateur: “One who has a taste for (something)” from French and Latin. Amateurish is an entirely different matter. Even if you are an amateur, you want to avoid looking amateurish. Context is also important here. While amateur athletes are revered, amateur brain surgeons are shunned.
  10. Tyro: From Middle Latin, meaning “young soldier or recruit.” Not to be confused with “Tyra,” which according to the Urban Dictionary, means to throw a tantrum if things don’t go your way. You know, like a child. But not “childlike.”
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