Football Haiku

For a moment put aside the extracurriculars of professional football-the money, the smack talk, the police records of prominent players-and just watch the athletes. Watch a play set in motion, the choreography of who runs where, the focus, grace, and power of a superstar receiver as he pulls an impossible pass out of mid-air, hugs to his chest and fends off would-be tacklers. I am not the first to recognize the poetry, nor am I the first to put it in haiku form. Heck, it’s fun to write about play off the field, too. Enjoy.

Polamalu’s hair,
insured for a cool million,
sells dandruff shampoo.

Ben Roethlisberger
tested team’s code of conduct.
His word against hers.

Is that a gun in
Plaxico’s sweatpants or is
he glad to see me?

Retire at your peak,
some say, to preserve legend.
Brett Favre should have listened.

Men in spandex pants
bent over before the snap.
No close-ups, thank you.

Bieber and Ozzy
to star in Superbowl ad,
in Tron costumes. Ecchh.

Pressure Tom Brady
and the Patriots will fall
just like the redcoats.

Coach Jimmie Johnson
silver hair, saggy man boobs
kicked off Survivor

Rex Ryan can fit
several feet in his mouth.
Kink, or weight loss plan?

Care to indulge in a bit of word play and write your own? Let’s hear it!

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Author: laurieboris

Writer, editor, proofreader, stand-up comedian in another life.

8 thoughts on “Football Haiku”

  1. This are great! Living in a house full of sports nuts you would think I would know every football player but somehow I’ve blocked out a few of these names. Some I’ve heard it all!
    You certainly do have a flair for these! Great job! Love ya!

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