I’m reblogging Kristen Lamb’s blog today because it’s funny and it’s why I won’t swim in the ocean. (Thanks, Steven Spielberg!) Happy Fourth!

Kristen Lamb's Blog

Ah, summer and Fourth of July. I have the best family in the world, but all of them had kids before I did. This means The Spawn has a lot of cousins who are all older. This is great in that they get to enjoy him (and lots of babysitters at family get-togethers), but it probably means they will scar him for life just like my older cousins did to me.

Fourth of July was a time when all my family came together and my older cousins had an opportunity to psychologically scar me for life babysat me. When I was 5, my cousins let me watch Jaws and instilled powerful hydrophobia that endures to this day.

They also let me watch Friday the 13th at age 10, ruining freshwater for me as well. Basically, if it ain’t chlorinated? I’m not getting in it. Expert angler Jeremy Wade from River Monsters 

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